I signed up almost a year ago on facebook and did nothing with it. At the time i found myspace easier. In the past month i have thrown myself into facebook and have pretty much not touched the myspace.
Facebook is bringing a mixture of emotions that are on a huge spectrum.
It's awesome to see friends past and present that i keep in touch with or havent and should have.
It's sad to see friends on others lists that i dont speak to anymore for various reasons.
It's a little nerve wracking asking people to add you that you NEVER talked to in HighSchool but then overjoyed when they accept you.
Tonite a fellow classmate posted a video with me in it from 1987. I was a sophomore, 15 years old 22 years ago. And a HUGE flood of emotions comes back to me.
I wish i could go back in time and do high school all over again. I wish i could have made friends with more and not been so critical back then.
I guess the hardest part is seeing people that are on your friends list that have asked me and i've not replied yet (NOT IGNORE) but not replied for oh various reasons. But this just makes me really really sad that life takes such twists and turns as it does and sometimes just to say no makes the most sense.
I dont want to be a doorstop anymore, but so despreately want things to be the way they were but know whole heartedly they wont ever be that way again. And for that it makes me sad. IT makes me real sad at a recent event we attended that it was more a fight than anything.
Every year on my birthday i re-evaluate things, life, family, where i am, where i would have been, where i should be, where i am not, where i will never be.
I think i am too young for a mid life crisis but man it sure makes you think about things.
I cannot explain how i am feeling 100% and not sure i can here b/c of fear of hurting others and making others mad, but then again why should i care.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
This CRAZY Week is over
Monday i threw my back out by sleeping on my stomach. I've been best friends with an ice pack and the chiropracter this week. I need to go back 3x's next week. Finding out i have minor scoliosis barely visible on xray, arthritus and bone spurs didnt make me happy, but the fact they arent touching my spinal column helps.
Also my blood pressure has been consistantly up on this Topral XL. Yeah even off meds my blood pressure was never 150/100 for days. Last nite it topped at 175/114. Yah i almost had Sean rush me to hospital but it finally came down after about 15 times of doing it. So again i have a call into my cardiologist who is only there on Wednesdays. I am going to ask the nurse to have another doctor check into it. I am not waiting until next wednesday to have my meds changed. I'l just stop taking them they obviously AREN'T WORKING!!!! You know the saying 3rd times a charm, maybe for me it will be 4th time on a new medicine.
Next week is busy with Chiropracter 3 days, Em's appointment at Orthodontist for the step before braces on the 19th and the Marshfield Fair starts friday. The week after is even more crazy week before school starts, Em gets braces, and i STILL havent gone back to school shopping yet.
Money is stressing me out HUGE, i cant even begin to tell you.
ON another note i read a book in less than a day. I had to really ice my back Wed and Thurs so i read a book called the Shack. I only finished so i could see if the book got any better and it didnt. Mom was reading at the same time and i told her dont waste your time.
I have to admit it was kind of relaxing sitting outside in the sun with a book though the book sucked.
I was going to send a resume to a medical office for medical filing but you know when something just doesnt seem right? Well this is the feeling i get. But i might have another prospective job so we'll see. It's a time will tell sort of thing.
Also my blood pressure has been consistantly up on this Topral XL. Yeah even off meds my blood pressure was never 150/100 for days. Last nite it topped at 175/114. Yah i almost had Sean rush me to hospital but it finally came down after about 15 times of doing it. So again i have a call into my cardiologist who is only there on Wednesdays. I am going to ask the nurse to have another doctor check into it. I am not waiting until next wednesday to have my meds changed. I'l just stop taking them they obviously AREN'T WORKING!!!! You know the saying 3rd times a charm, maybe for me it will be 4th time on a new medicine.
Next week is busy with Chiropracter 3 days, Em's appointment at Orthodontist for the step before braces on the 19th and the Marshfield Fair starts friday. The week after is even more crazy week before school starts, Em gets braces, and i STILL havent gone back to school shopping yet.
Money is stressing me out HUGE, i cant even begin to tell you.
ON another note i read a book in less than a day. I had to really ice my back Wed and Thurs so i read a book called the Shack. I only finished so i could see if the book got any better and it didnt. Mom was reading at the same time and i told her dont waste your time.
I have to admit it was kind of relaxing sitting outside in the sun with a book though the book sucked.
I was going to send a resume to a medical office for medical filing but you know when something just doesnt seem right? Well this is the feeling i get. But i might have another prospective job so we'll see. It's a time will tell sort of thing.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Bills Bills Bills
Why does it seem taht insuarance just sucks sometimes. I have a great insurance but i swear they raise their deductibles (they dont)
Just seems we have so many medical bills at the moment, now add the braces bill on top of it.
Just seems we have so many medical bills at the moment, now add the braces bill on top of it.
Cardiologist Update
So i go for my appointment today. First i said ok i know the stress echo went good can you tell me the results of the ultrasound.
She says, oh i see here we didnt get your heartrate up and only did 3 min on the treadmill. I SAID NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i did 13 but had to stop at running, i never was a runner. I guess that means i cant breathe b/c of a comment she said later to me.
Then she says well the ultrasound showed what i was looking for only one kidney. I said you didnt check kidney function. I KNOW i only have one kidney. So she goes oh yep it's working fine. But you have a kidney stone. OOOOOOOOOOOOKAY
So i ask her about passing it, blah blah blah, and again i ask how big it is.
I SHIT YOU NOT....................
OH Tracey, it's a gallstone (which i knew i had) not a kidney stone, oops.
My bloodwork came back wtih bad cholesteral a little high, and lipids a little high. But not as bad as i thought, and the fact she wasnt going to mention ANY OF THESE tests unless i asked about them.
Overall the appointment did go better, she seemed a little more personable, but still slighty. I think I will still look for another. One was recommended to me at the docs for my UTI last week but he's in same office. CON.
So she put me on 25mg of topral. She said it's what she's on. HELLO, knowing how she is i asked her if i would be a zombie. She said nooooooooo. I thought holy crap i dont want to act like her. i said well i'll try it, and i am almost postive i'll be calling you to change it. This drug has more side effects than the last two put together. But according to her there are sooooooooooo many meds we can try. LOVELY JUST LOVELY!
My bp was up there as it should with the whitecoat syndrome, but at home good but regardless i need to be on meds b/c of the one kidney. BUMMER
It just sucks being born with something or lack of in this case and finding out later in life and now having to be on meds now for the rest of my life.
And i swear if one more person asks me if i take tums i am going to lose it.
I refuse to put that wrong kind of calcium in my body for menopause.
She says, oh i see here we didnt get your heartrate up and only did 3 min on the treadmill. I SAID NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i did 13 but had to stop at running, i never was a runner. I guess that means i cant breathe b/c of a comment she said later to me.
Then she says well the ultrasound showed what i was looking for only one kidney. I said you didnt check kidney function. I KNOW i only have one kidney. So she goes oh yep it's working fine. But you have a kidney stone. OOOOOOOOOOOOKAY
So i ask her about passing it, blah blah blah, and again i ask how big it is.
I SHIT YOU NOT....................
OH Tracey, it's a gallstone (which i knew i had) not a kidney stone, oops.
My bloodwork came back wtih bad cholesteral a little high, and lipids a little high. But not as bad as i thought, and the fact she wasnt going to mention ANY OF THESE tests unless i asked about them.
Overall the appointment did go better, she seemed a little more personable, but still slighty. I think I will still look for another. One was recommended to me at the docs for my UTI last week but he's in same office. CON.
So she put me on 25mg of topral. She said it's what she's on. HELLO, knowing how she is i asked her if i would be a zombie. She said nooooooooo. I thought holy crap i dont want to act like her. i said well i'll try it, and i am almost postive i'll be calling you to change it. This drug has more side effects than the last two put together. But according to her there are sooooooooooo many meds we can try. LOVELY JUST LOVELY!
My bp was up there as it should with the whitecoat syndrome, but at home good but regardless i need to be on meds b/c of the one kidney. BUMMER
It just sucks being born with something or lack of in this case and finding out later in life and now having to be on meds now for the rest of my life.
And i swear if one more person asks me if i take tums i am going to lose it.
I refuse to put that wrong kind of calcium in my body for menopause.
Em Is Growing Up
We went to the Orthodontist on Monday and August 19th Em will get braces. I am having a really hard time with this i dont know why. Maybe it's the fact she's going into middle school, womanhood around the corner and I remember getting MY braces.
SIGH..
But the doctor is AWESOME, Emily loved her. The great thing is she gets to pick the color bands she wants. She can have as many different colors as she wants on her teeth. Personally I think it's a pain but they want to make it fun for the kids.
SIGH..
But the doctor is AWESOME, Emily loved her. The great thing is she gets to pick the color bands she wants. She can have as many different colors as she wants on her teeth. Personally I think it's a pain but they want to make it fun for the kids.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you.
P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!
Now, you have a nice day.
~God
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you.
P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!
Now, you have a nice day.
~God
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Slacking
I have been slacking b/c one it's summer and two i really dont have much to write about. Well i do, but i just cant post stuff here. Wouldnt be fair to some.
Wait.....I can say taht i found 3 of my cousins on myspace and face book. One of which i have added, the other two due to the family crap (MY SIDE NOT SEAN'S) i probably wont invite to add as a friend. It's sad actually. I have a small family. My brother and my only blood nephew is in Florida, and none of my cousins and i talk due to family matters on each side (mom and dad). This does bother me. I am syked one that we've been speaking through myspace. On my mom's side there's only 4 grandkids and my dads, nine. Due to the family crap of sean's side, they dont see but ONE maybe TWO on his side of their cousins. I know my cousins kids are only thier second cousins, but i woudl like them to grow up knowing them. SIGH, oh well. Things happen for a reason. I truly beelive that and i beeilve that things can come full circle, just depends on God's timing.
I am happy and sad at the same time it's August.
The kids drive me nuts, but there's no homework, no tests to study for,
no SCHOOL TANTRUMS.
We've been doing a lot of ice cream/mystery rides in the jeep. WHICH who can resist ice cream, and a ride in nice weather with the top down.
We've been going to a TON of cookouts and still have a lot more to go. These last weeks before the kids go back are jammed full of stuff.
We are on our way out for an ice cream sans Jeep :(
Wait.....I can say taht i found 3 of my cousins on myspace and face book. One of which i have added, the other two due to the family crap (MY SIDE NOT SEAN'S) i probably wont invite to add as a friend. It's sad actually. I have a small family. My brother and my only blood nephew is in Florida, and none of my cousins and i talk due to family matters on each side (mom and dad). This does bother me. I am syked one that we've been speaking through myspace. On my mom's side there's only 4 grandkids and my dads, nine. Due to the family crap of sean's side, they dont see but ONE maybe TWO on his side of their cousins. I know my cousins kids are only thier second cousins, but i woudl like them to grow up knowing them. SIGH, oh well. Things happen for a reason. I truly beelive that and i beeilve that things can come full circle, just depends on God's timing.
I am happy and sad at the same time it's August.
The kids drive me nuts, but there's no homework, no tests to study for,
no SCHOOL TANTRUMS.
We've been doing a lot of ice cream/mystery rides in the jeep. WHICH who can resist ice cream, and a ride in nice weather with the top down.
We've been going to a TON of cookouts and still have a lot more to go. These last weeks before the kids go back are jammed full of stuff.
We are on our way out for an ice cream sans Jeep :(
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